Self-Advocacy: How to Help Your Kids Achieve Success

What is self-advocacy and how do I teach my kid? Self-advocacy is an individual’s ability to communicate one’s own needs, desires, interests, and rights as well as speaking up for themselves. Teaching your kid to be their advocate is crucial for encouraging independence, resilience, and responsibility for their learning. Every day adults overcome obstacles, big and small. Kids are going through the same challenges whether hidden or visible. Examples include having difficulty comprehending their feelings and saying “I am hungry”, “I need help on this assignment”, “I don’t understand this lesson” etc. Then, kids find themselves in a “death spiral” of frustration, isolation, overwhelming feelings, and not wanting to complete tasks you give them. Self-advocacy starts with self-awareness in a way of knowing yourself, your needs, and how to get what you need.

As adults, it is vital to acknowledge and respect a kid’s attempts at getting to know themselves, identify their feelings, and to self-advocate. We can facilitate conversations and provide kids with a safe, supportive environment in which they can practice these skills. Here are some tips on how to nurture self-advocacy in kids:

1. Understanding personal strengths and weaknesses: Encourage kids to understand their capabilities. Discuss their strengths and areas of improvement. Kids should be allowed to express their feelings, even if they are uncomfortable.
2. Decision-Making: Let kids make decisions on appropriate matters. Whether it’s their selection of clothes for the day or choosing a book for bedtime, allowing them to make these selections increases their confidence in decision-making. If necessary, give two choice options that you are fine with, for example, “Do you want the purple or blue shirt?”.
3. Problem-Solving: When a child encounters a problem, instead of solving it for them, guide them to figure it out on their own. Ask open-ended questions that lead them toward the answer.
4. Communicating needs and wants: Teach children to express their needs and wants assertively and respectfully. Role-playing can be a helpful tool in this process. 
5. Understanding rights: Children should be aware of their rights. Be it at home, school, or elsewhere, they should know that they have the right to be treated fairly and respectfully.
6. Negotiation skills: Teach children negotiation skills. Whether it’s dealing with their classmates over a shared toy or discussing extra homework time with their teacher, learning how to negotiate increases their capacity to advocate for themselves.

Self-advocacy in schools refers to the skills and understanding that allow students to effectively express their own wants, needs, and rights. Rights can refer to rules and regulations, such as reminding teachers of their IEP or 504 accommodations with parent’s guidance. Teaching kids to make informed decisions and stand up for themselves appropriately is an important part of a student’s journey toward becoming self-confident, resilient, and independent.

Implementing self-advocacy in schools involves developing these skills in children from an early age and encouraging them to apply these skills in daily activities and decision-making processes. It should be a collaborative endeavor between teachers, parents, and students, with each playing an important role in fostering the self-advocacy abilities of the learners. The following are strategies you can implement to help your kids use self-advocacy in school.

1. Define Self-Advocacy: Start by discussing what self-advocacy is. For a kid, it might be as simple as understanding their own needs and how to speak up for them respectably.
2. Encourage Open Communication: Foster a culture where your kid feels comfortable expressing their thoughts, questions, concerns, and ideas. Let them know that it’s alright to ask for help when they need it.
3. Teach Communication Skills: Basics such as making eye contact when talking, speaking clearly, utilizing perspective-taking, and being respectful even in disagreements can make a big difference.
4. Identify Needs and Strengths: Work with your kids to identify their learning needs and strengths. This can help them understand what they might need to advocate for at school.
5. Role Play: Practice makes perfect. Use role-playing exercises to help your kid practice self-advocacy situations at home. You can act out teacher-parent-student interactions, peer interactions etc. 
6. Build Confidence: Let your kids make decisions for themselves when appropriate, building their confidence and allowing them to experience the consequences of their actions.
7. Use ‘I’ Statements: Teach your kid to use phrases like “I need help with…” or “I don’t understand…”. It’s an assertive (not aggressive) way to express their needs or concerns.
8. Bridge The Connection with Teachers: Encourage your kid to talk directly to teachers about their needs and concerns. This helps to build a direct connection between the teacher and the student.
9. Teach Problem-Solving Skills: Teach kids the basic structure of problem-solving: identifying the problem, brainstorming solutions, making a plan, and reflecting on the outcome.

Remember, learning self-advocacy is a journey that might require continuous practice and patience. Different levels of assistance will be needed depending on the age level. Validation and support from you are crucial in building these skills. Some ways to enhance self-advocacy in schools are through programs and interventions targeting self-awareness, communication training, social skills development, and conflict resolution. For instance, role-playing activities can provide students with opportunities to exercise and enhance their self-advocacy skills. Being able to communicate with their parents and teachers can bring much success to a kid as they will be able to overcome obstacles.